Forbidden
by Blue Seer
Summary: I don't really know when my hate for you became something else. Something I never thought I would feel for you. But, can you ever really feel it back? Oh, the pain of forbidden love.
1. hair

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated to Pokémon

* * *

I remember with every last detail about the day we first met. Everything down to the stupid way your uncombed hair pointed that morning. That morning, I was fuming that morning. I just wanted to get out of that retched place. I had been stuck there for so long, too long. So, when they let out I was thrilled, I was ready to jump for joy and shout out into the skies, I was ready to run out of there forever into freedom, until I saw you. After trapping me in that dreaded prison for so long you had the nerve to show up and tell me that I have to go with you. Be with you from that day on. You, with the stupid uncombed hair smiling at me like an idiot. I remember how much I hated you from that moment. I detested you, just the thought of having to be near you disgusted me so much that I had almost wished that I had been able to stay in my cell, and you knew that.

You knew how much I hated to be around you, how much I just wanted to get away from you and yet. You protected me. You tried your hardest to protect me when we were attacked. Protect me, even when you knew how much I hated everything about you. But there you were, standing out in front of me with your arms stretched out trying to shield me. While I, too exhausted to move laid motionless on the floor behind you. Staring at your back, just trying to forget that this was happening and then I saw them. With their angry eyes and almost smirking mouths, I saw them slowing reaching you. Getting closer and closer ready for another round of attacks. And as I stared up at them and you. You, and your arms, your back, your stupid uncombed hair, I don't know what came over me. It could have just been the seriousness of the moment but I just couldn't let them hurt you. And so, I jumped.

I jumped into battle for you. To now protect you. You, the one I hated so much. As I fought, pushing out the last bit of my strength that I had in me, I couldn't help but think that I had lost my mind. What other way was there to explain what I was doing? I was fighting for the person I despised most in the world. The one I despised even more then the one who had trapped me. I was insane. I had to be. And I couldn't stop but think about this the entire time. From the moment I leapt before you, to the final attack I made, and as I collapsed back to the now drench ground. I had been so preoccupied with the fight and my thoughts that I hadn't notice when it had started to rain and how it made the perfect atmosphere for such a moment. But as I lay on the cold floor, my face getting wet from the rain I watched them leave. And I smiled. I smiled, knowing that you were safe.


	2. Smile

I smile at the visions that whirled on the surface of the lake. I giggle now, as I remember that first day. It's funny how such serious events become laughable with time. I have found myself buried within my thoughts more and more recently. Having any little thing remind me of an important moment we've shared. Things sure have changed since that climatic day. I used to hate being with you and now. Now, I'll happily follow you wherever the rode may lead us. Now, I'm completely content with following any of your commands, to fight to my fullest, to just do anything that will make you happy.

I remain sitting here on this rotting log enjoying my thoughts and the glistering of the tiny pebbles on the lake floor. I am so lost within my own mind that I don't even notice you come up behind me, until I feel your gloved hand gently rub my head as you often do. I look up at you and you smile at me, that same smile you gave me long ago.

"What are you laughing at?" You ask giggling yourself giving me another round of rubs to the head. Though enjoying your touch, I move your arm aside as it disguises your face and simply nod in reply. Accepting my response you laugh once more before telling me to prepare for our leave.

I watch your back as you walk away and begin packing your belongings, the others doing the same. Never needing to worry about such things as I certainly 'travel light', I turn back to the lake to notice that it did not hold the same beauty as it had before. The water that I had found soft and soothing moments ago, I now find distressing and sad. As I stare into my reflected eyes, I slowly bring a hand to my face, barely touching and curse my physical form.

I know what I feel for you, its something I never thought was possibly, but I do. And I'm not deluded enough to think that you feel the same. I know you worry about me, I know you care for me, and I know that you maybe even love me, but...but not like that. Not the way I want you to. And I'm close to certainty that you can never feel the same as I do. Not when I look like this. Never. Never, as long as I look like this. Only. Only if there were a way. A way to make me look more like you. A way to make me be able to stand equal to you. A way that whenever you smile at me, I can smile back and say something I know you understand.


	3. back

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon

* * *

I grind my teeth and clinch onto your shirt to prevent from falling over as you run up a rock covered incline. You're always so impulsive like that. One minute you could be enjoying a moment of rest and the next you're jumping off a cliff because, it will get you to town quicker. That's just one of the many quirks that make you, you. One of those things that make me love you. It must also be why you stood in front of me that day so long ago. It's in your nature.

I'm smiling again, as I think about it. But I can't keep doing this. I shouldn't think about that now. I can't keep focusing on the past. I have to concentrate on the present. I know I should, but. But it only depresses me. Whenever I take the time to return to reality, to really live now, it saddens me. I rather be entranced in the time where I didn't feel this empty. In a time where I could look at you and it didn't hurt. Where I didn't have to fake a smile while internally my heart throbs. But staying in the present is what's necessary now.

I sigh deeply as I come back to this world, pressing my face deep into the nape of your neck. At least this feels nice. So, very nice. I wish I could just stay like this, rubbing your neck slowly while I hug your back that often carries me.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked suddenly his voice filled with worriment as he lifts his hand to feel my forehead.

I both hate and love when you use that voice towards me. I hate it, because I don't ever want you to have to worry or be upset about anything. But then, my selfish side comes crawling out, and that's the side that loves it so. Knowing that you're is speaking like that for me, worried about me; it simply makes my insides want to sing. Therefore, I take advantage of the moment and press my face deeper into your palm. I stay like this for a while trying to enjoy this moment of being so close to you. But, I know I have to stop soon. So, finally I release a soft sound that assures you that I'm just fine.

I sigh again; to myself this time as you remove your hand from my head to give me a thumb up before continuing on ahead. Oh well, that will keep me happy and content for a while. A short while.

-

"A very short while." I say aloud to myself, sitting on a large rock just outside the cave where the group had decided to stay for the night. I tried for hours to fall asleep, but I just couldn't. The night air was calling for me. So, now I sit out here in the cool outdoors instead of being cozy and warm next to you. But there is also the wind. The wind sure does feel good as it caresses my face tonight. It's almost soothing. "It's just like..." I begin to say before closing my eyes shut, enjoying the breeze's gentle stroke.

"It's just like his touch, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." I reply in a near whisper, my voice just loud enough to be heard over the whistle of the wind. "It's not as warm though." I say with a small smile planted on my face, trying to imagine if it were. I sit there on the cool rock with my eyes still closed shut, letting the breeze caress me, just enjoying the moment of peace until…


	4. touch

My eyes suddenly fling open as I finally realize something I was too distracted to notice before. Who was I talking to? Who would be out here so late at night? I was certain that I was the only one sitting here. But I heard some one else's voice, didn't I? To figure out whether I truly heard something or was becoming crazy, I turn ever so slowly.

I gasp more from surprise then anything else, when my suspicions were confirmed. Next to the rock on the grass covered ground with long orange hair that gently swayed in the wind, was a young lady. She sat with her legs brought to her chest, her crossed arms and head resting on her knees. I caught sight of her striking violet eyes, the same color of the blouse she wore, and she smiled a nice wide joyful smile. Well, it's not going to be exactly the same, now is it?" She says with a giggle as she sat up straight, gracefully shoving her flaying hair behind her ear.

Just out of no where she came. Who was this mysterious girl? Even with my sensitive ears, I didn't hear when she sat beside me. Needing to know, I hesitantly begin to stutter out my question, but it was not answered. However, the fact that she completely disregarded my question did not make me angry in the slightest as she began to explain something just as interesting.

"I've been watching you." she says causing me to obviously make a concerned look as she continues while waving her arms in front of herself, with an embarrassed expression on her face. "Not like I was stalking you or anything." She says with another happy giggle. "Just since you and your group have gotten here."

There's no possible way that I wouldn't have been able to notice a girl in the middle of the forest. She seems to have read my mind as she points to a near by tree, though the gesture doesn't help my confusion at all. "I was watching you from the branch on that tree, up there."

"How?" I ask quietly, just enough to be heard. "How could you be up there without us noticing?" I was a bit relieved when she grinned, a sign that she was intending to answer this question unlike the last.

"Don't you know yet?" She asks suddenly standing up with a jump, her white skirt lashing around her. "I'm a witch." She says standing in front of me, holding up her arms if presenting herself. "And before you say anything." She says holding up a finger. "I know I don't look like what you would think a witch would look like."

I simply stay silent and nod with agreement with this. She obviously didn't appear like your stereotypical witch, not dark at all. "Everyone expects something like this." She says leaving me wonder about what she was doing as she began to twirl around.

I have to make sure that my eyes are working correctly now that she stopped her spinning. Though she is presenting me with the same happy appearance she began with, now she is wearing something completely different. Now she truly appears like a witch is supposed to look like. A black colored cloak hangs from her shoulders while a pointed hat covered her head.

"I can pull this look off too." she says pulling her hat to cover her face just a bit, giving her a more mysterious feel. "But I prefer not to." she says completely removing her hat and cloak, and with another quick spin she leaves me dumbfounded. The clothes she once had in her hand was now flying away as they had turned into a zubat.

I turn to her, certain that my eyes appeared like saucers, but her smile remained the same. "What?" she asks chuckling. "Doesn't that explain it?" she says lifting her index finger to her lip, tipping her head back and begins to hum. Stopping abruptly she snaps her arms to her and shouts. "Silly me, of course it doesn't."

As she takes a step closer to me and bends down to my height, I try my hardest not to step back myself. I have to admit that this normal looking young girl is scaring me, especially now that she is nearing my ear and in a very quiet whispers she says. "But this will."

I gasp again when she takes a grand leap back with a laugh. I find myself as still as a vegetable, anticipating her next move when she begins to flap her arms. With one final move, being a quick jump she makes me more astonished then ever since our meeting. I can't believe this. I must be dreaming. I'm no longer peering into violet eyes of a girl, but into the eyes of a bird. A Noctowl was flying in front of me, wings and everything. Just as I blink to make sure my vision was not failing me, she brings her wings in and transforms back into her human self.

By this point all fear left my body. I can't be afraid after this. She can change, she can change. She has the ability to become a pokémon or a human at will. This, this could be my only opportunity. There may be a way to finally make myself like you. You, I had actually forgotten about you for a moment, but now. Now, I have to remember, for this could be my only real chance to be with you. It could be my only chance for me to make you notice me. Really notice me. Notice me as someone besides your best friend, besides your companion, besides...your servant.

"Please." I beg to her. My small fists up to my chest, trying to hold back tears that threatened to come out. "Please, tell me." I say walking to the edge of the rock I sat on. "Is there any possible way for me to be able to change like you? Can you make me human?"

Tilting her head slightly as she lowered herself to me once more, she lightly cupped my cheek and for the first time since I recognized her next to me, her happy beam was removed. The grin being replaced with a sweet empathetic smile. "Yes, there is." She answers softly.

"Then please. Please make me human." I plead to her, begging with my hands, my eyes, my whole being. " I'll repay you. I don't know how, but I will. Please." I say with desperation when she lets go of my face and stands up with a sigh.

"They're will be no need." She says nervously rubbing her arm with the other. "But, are you certain it's something you really want?"

Really want? It's been something I've been dreaming about for years. Ever since the end of that first day. The day when my hate for you became something completely different. When my feelings flipped entirely. Is it what I really want? No, it's…it's something I need. "Yes. Yes." I say nodding frantically causing the water that I had been trying to hold in, to finally fall.

"Oh." She says running her fingers through her hair. "But, you do know that. That what you're doing, and what you will be doing. It's considered…" she stops momentarily. Probably to give me a chance to brace myself. But I know. I know what she was about to say. "It's considered forbidden."

"I know." I stutter out, while wiping away some fallen tears. "I know it is, in more then one way, but still." I answer, giving a sad smile. "I still have to do this."

"Very well." She says nodding with understanding. "Follow me then."

-

So, you are sure?" She asks me one more time as I follow her into a forest clearing. But I don't answer out loud, I just give a slight confident nod that lets her know exactly how I feel.

I'm sure. I have to be. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. So, I stand boldly. Boldly with my arms to my side, chest out, and chin up. And though I try my hardest, one last stubborn tear still breaks through. And, begins rolling down my redden cheek, but I do not remove it. I don't even bother to acknowledge it's existence, for I'm ready.

I see her walking towards me, but I do not move. She pulls out a stone like object from a bag that I could swear she didn't have before, but it doesn't bother me. She lowers herself to me like before and presents me with the stone. It's such a beautiful stone. It's a stunning dark green with light swirls of gold. Just beautiful.

"This is what will help you change." She says handing the stone to me. "It's just like a regular evolution stone. Just a rare and special one, that has the ability to turn pokémon into humans. Well, I guess it's not just like a regular stone." She stopped to smile a real smile that I had been beginning to miss, but the moment did not last long enough. Soon, her happy smile reverted back to serious features as she placed her hands over my own that were now holding the stone. "When you're ready.." She began to say as she let go of my hands and backed away. Instead of giving me outward instructions she simply gestured by placing her hand near her heart.

I look down at the lovely stone in my hands, is this what I want? I think I'm having second thoughts. "Ha." I laugh. I can't have second thoughts. Not now. Not when I'm so close to you. So, I lift this stone that holds all my wishes, my dreams, my future. This is, this is for you. Screw patience now.

With one quick glance up to the witch that helped me, I shove the stone towards me and close my eyes. My eyes stay shut as a relaxing, tingling warm feeling is immediately showered all through me. I've always wondered how it was like to use a stone. If I would have know that it felt this nice, maybe I would have used one sooner. This feeling makes me feel at peace, but nothing ever last, does it?

Unexpectedly the gentle sweet feeling was gone. Now, I become scared as I'm lifted off the ground, floating in mid-air. I don't know what to do. I can't move. I can't see. There's a blinding light surrounding me. I don't know what's going on. I feel my body changing. It hurts. I close my eyes as tightly as possible. Anything to make the pain lessen. But this is worth it. I know it is. I know. It has to be. But, I can't take it now. I tried, but I can't. And, So, I scream. I scream, until I can't. Until my throat and lungs burn. Until I can't remember. Until it starts to get dark. But before it's to late, I push back the throbbing pain in my chest, to release my last declaration and last rolling tear to.

"I love you…"


	5. eyes

"Pikachu…"

I awake with a jump after hearing some weird noise break through the quiet peaceful surroundings, but just as quickly as my eyes snap open they shut close once more. "Stupid sun, go away." I say with a loud moan, while I turn my back to the rays of light.

"It's not time to wake up yet. The grass is still wet . So, five more minutes please. Just five more, that's all I need," I beg to no one. Mmm…the moist grass feels good. It's helping to keep my sweaty face cool. It sure became morning quite quickly. Wait. I, I don't remember it being daytime. I could swear that it was the middle of the night when…

I leap up in a sitting position faster then I ever thought I could, a cold sweat running down my face despite of the burning sun. How could have I not remembered? I was outside, at night, by myself, or so I thought. And then. And then there was a strange girl. She said she was…she was a witch. But, I'm alone now. She's not here anymore. Was she ever? But, she said that she could make me…

Did she? Did that even happen? There's an easy solution to those questions. I know that all I have to do is take a quick look at myself. But, I'm scared. I'm scared of what I may find. I'm scared to find out that it never happened. But I think I'm more terrified to find out if it did. But I have to put that fear behind me. I need to find out. I need to. So, with a deep breath I bring my hand to my view.

I…I…I can't breathe. I'm looking at four fingers and more importantly an opposable thumb. I never had one of those before. After staring at my hand for what seemed like hours, a wide smile is brought upon my face. My breath finally comes back faster then ever as I immediately begin to examine every inch of my body. My arms, my face, my chest, and I can't help but begin to laugh when I realize that all my clothes was tinted the color yellow. Never stopping my joyful chuckles, I stand up frantically on my two legs, and begin to enjoy the view from this new height. I can't stop laughing. I can't believed it really happened. It really happened and it really worked. I'm human. I'm human.

"I'm human." I laugh hysterically once hearing my new voice. It's so different. Okay, calm down. Let me take a real good look at myself. Let's see. I have sort of baggy pants on, they're quite comfortable actually. I always wondered how they felt. I have a regular t-shirt on. Not bad. I'm so glad that clothes were transformed. I don't think it would have made such a good impression to stroll up naked, but does it all have to be yellow? I can't help but laugh again, I just can't believe all of this, it's a dream come true.

I wonder what my face looks like, feeling it with my new fingers just isn't enough. I never thought I would ever want a mirror so badly. And my hair. I wonder what that looks like. From what I can feel, it seems to be short and spiky, probably to resemble my ears best as possible. There I am, snickering yet again. But, but, just look at me.

"Pikachu!"

I jump up slightly from surprise when I hear the sudden yell that knocks me out of my concentration, but my smile remains. I wasn't hearing things. It. It was you. You must be looking for me. Of course you're looking for me. You always do. That's why I'm never worried when we get separated because I know you'll come for me. But not today. Today I'm going to you. I'm going to show you what I did for you and only you.

I stumble at first, I'm not used to this, it's so different, but I can't let that slow me down. I have to get used to it. So I run. Run as fast as my new legs can carry me. And there you are. My smile is as big as ever now, because of you. My selfish side is out of course, because watching you frantically move from on bush to another in your search for me, makes me so happy. But oh, so, very nervous.

Well, I'll have to present myself to you eventually, right? I did do this for you. So, here I go. But I can't go anywhere. I can't move my legs. Not because I'm not used to them yet, but because I'm afraid to. How should I go to you? Should I run? Should I casually stroll up as if nothing has changed? I just don't know what to do. But I can't just stay behind here hiding. I'll, I'll just go. Yes. I won't think. I'll just go.

-

You haven't seen me yet. You're too busy crawling on the ground, looking under bushes. I have to giggle softly at this. You just look so silly on all…threes. Certainly, you have to use the remaining hand to make sure your hat stays in place. I tilt my head and smile, letting out another quiet chuckle when I hear you call my name. But, I guess it wasn't as quiet as I first believed, seeing that it was enough to catch your attention. I gulp when I see you soon stop your crawling and begin to raise your head.

What do I do? You're looking at me now, slightly confused. Of course you are. Anyone would be confused if a random person was standing before you, just staring. What was I thinking? Oh, right. I wasn't. I'll just say you're name. Let you know that I know who you are. That should work or just make you even more confused and possibly scared. But I should just give it a try.

Just as I open my mouth to gently whisper the wonders of your name, you quickly stand up, startling me a bit. You give me that treasured smile of yours and take a small step forward. "Hi. Have you seen a pikachu around here?" You ask me. This of course causes me to give you a smile of my own, and probably out of pure ridden habit, I don't reply with my new voice that you'd finally understand, but nod a yes.

"Really?" You ask lifting your fist up before your face in excitement. Seeing you so happy about finding me even though I'm right in front of you is just too much for me to take. So, I begin to giggle the same giggle that had caught your attention in the first place. But, I stop immediately when I see that look. That look, you're giving me. You appear confused, with your cocked eyebrow and slightly lifted upper lip. But, there's something in your eyes. They seem to be searching. Searching for something nostalgic…within me.

Do you know? Do you? I want so much to ask but my mind just stops working for me. Instead of calmly speaking to you, instead of carefully explaining everything, instead, I run. I run to you with a huge smile spread across my face. Without even thinking of how my actions would surprise you or maybe even frighten you. I run, rapping my arms around you, squeezing you tight. How I longed to do this.

"I'm not even that tall." I say giggling some stray chuckles when I realize that my new found height barely reached your chin. But it doesn't bother me in the slightest. In my eyes this is perfect. Tall enough to gently rub my face against yours but short enough to fit against you, perfectly intertwined and snug in your arms. If only you would really rap your arms around me now, like you sometimes do. But, you haven't today. Why haven't you? Wait…you don't know who I am.

I immediately let go of you, once I finally realize that you don't understand. I can read your face clearly. You seem panicked and confused. To you, I'm just a random boy that came out of the woods and hugged you. To you, I'm a stranger. But, what am I so worried about? Once you find out who I am, it'll all be okay. It'll be just like it always is, only much better. Now, you'll be able to see me as something besides your furry friend. So, now I can easily have my own worried expression swiped from my face as a joyful smile replaces it.

"Ash." I say almost silently as I look down to my new shoe covered feet, not being able to keep my eyes on you to see your reaction. And I just know that my cheeks are flushed red, similar to before my miraculous change. "It's…" I slowly begin to stutter before I'm interrupted by you.

"Who are you?" You ask with a nearly demanding voice. To have someone you've never seen appear before you, to hug you, and to then call you out by your name. Certainly, anyone would want to know who that person was after such a sudden occurrence. "Do I know you?" You ask, slightly bending to my level and tilting your head down to better see my lowered eyes, which just initiates another round of blushes.

Damn this habit. Instead of answering out loud, I simply nod once more. But, I have to try to stop that. I have to, because you look confused yet again. It appears if you're trying to jog your memories. Trying to recognize me from the many people you have met along the way. I have to stop you from trying. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I smile both because of my own comment and at your puzzled look.

"It's…" I say in a whisper, in another attempt of letting you know exactly who I am. "It's…" I say again a little louder this time as you not so patiently wait for me to continue. "It's me." I finish thinking that that was enough to clue you in, but it looks as if I was wrong in assuming this.

"Who? I don't think I remember you?" He says squinting his eyes as he rubbed his chin in deep thought. "When did we meet?"

With an extremely bashful smile on my face, I ever so slowly begin to lift my head. As it slowly rises from its current view, I let my eyes hungrily trail your every inch from start to finish. I commence at your legs that with time lead me to your arms and chest that soon escort me to your beloved face. I first lay eyes on your moist lips that often carry a firm smirk or the smile I love so dearly. Next, I scan your cheeks and nose before getting to the real prize. Your eyes. I don't think I've ever mentioned how much I adore your eyes. Your eyes, that contain every part of your essence. Your glee, your sorrow, your fears, your triumphs, your failures. Your eyes that are always so full of determination, and so full of passion.

"A long time ago." I say barely audible to the human ear. "A very long time ago." I say, and as I notice you still studies my features, I catch myself smiling shyly, still certain that a light hue of red resided on my cheeks.

"Really?" You ask still doubtful about our first meeting. "Well, what's your name?" you say still determined to figure out who I happen to be.

This is it. This is my chance. There you are. Standing there, in front of me. Looking at me. At me with those eyes. Those eyes so full of wonderment, concern, so full of desire. The desire to discover who I truly am. This is perfect. Just the right moment to reveal myself. Now, when you're asking my name, while still concerned about finding me. This is the best time as ever. You'll be able to receive two answers at once. And once you're astonished, when you discover just who I am. Then. Then that will be my ultimate chance… for everything. For all my wishes, my dreams, my everything.

I face you completely. I look at you. Look in your eyes while I grin. I can feel my hand beginning to tremble as I start to slur my words, my nerves getting the better of me. But I can't let that stop me. Not now. So, I try to control my shaking as much as I can and take a deep breath.

"Ash….I'm Pikachu."


	6. laugh

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated to Pokémon

* * *

Say something. Please just say something. All you're doing is standing there looking at me, staring, without voicing a word. I know you're thinking something. I can see it. But, I can't read it correctly. I can't read what you're thinking, what you're feeling. And it's driving me insane. I can't just stand having you looking at me like that, without knowing what's going on in your head. So, please. Please just say something. 

"What?" You finally ask. It's not what I was initially wishing for, but to have you speak again is just enough. So, I thank you, deeply.

"Ash, I'm Pikachu." I repeat bringing back the smile that you had appreciated. Yet, it seems as this time around the smile will not have the same effect on you as it had before, as you shake your head.

"Hey, quit playing around." You demand right before pointing out to the woods. "I have to hurry and go find him. He might be in trouble."

As happy as ever that you're so worried, a quick flush of anxiety rushes through me. How am I going to convince you that I'm really him? That the little yellow animal that shoots bolts of electricity is really standing before you. "But Ash, I'm fine. I'm right here." I tell you hoping that at some point you'll believe me, but instead a frustrated frown begins to form on your face.

"Look. He might be out there, hurt. I can't keep wasting my time here with you." You say not bothering to taking another look as you past by me.

What do I do? You're walking away. You don't believe me. How could you? But, I have to find a way to convince you before it's too late. The small flush of anxiety that I felt is quickly turning into a huge waterfall pouring over me, stopping me from thinking correctly, stopping me from breathing correctly. I have to do something. I have to find a way despite the gasp of air that I'm letting into my lungs.

"You tied me up!" I yell at you, hoping that you're still close enough to hear. But, I don't dare turn around to witness for myself. Not now.

"What?" A cool breeze of relief now rushes through me, as I hear your voice replying from a short distance.

"You tied me up." I repeat, now allowing myself to turn to face you once again. "On the first day we met. I wasn't listening so you tied me up with the rope your mom gave you." I release a small almost invisible grin as you begin to take small steps towards me. It's working.

"How do you know?" You say barely audible, but instead of explaining I continue on with my most vivid memories.

"I wouldn't battle for you, because I hated you." A bigger smile appears as a tiny frown develops on your face from hearing the truth. "So, you tried to catch Pokémon yourself. You threw a rock at a pidgey or at least you thought it was a pidgey. But it wasn't." I say shaking my head.

"It was a spearow." We say in unison just as you stop right in front of me.

"Pika…Pikachu…is that really you?" you ask lifting your hand parallel to my face, but stop right before making contact.

I give a small, modest, shy smile while I attempt to hold in the dreaded tears at the corner of my eyes as I nod my head. I fail of course. They begin to fall just as I move my face slightly over, allowing your standing hand to cup my cheek as I continue to nod into it.

"You're really?" You ask again to reassure this is truly happening and again I reply by nuzzling your hand. "But how?" you ask the inevitable, making me frown playfully as you remove your hand.

I'm trying so hard to find and an easy way to explain everything that has happen. Should I just start from the beginning? I was sitting outside late at night when a witch came to me and turned me into a human. No, I can't say that now. Not just yet. I just managed to have believe me, I can't just go off with strange stories. So, while smiling with glee, I give you the best answer I can think of. "Magic."

"I bet." you say laughing as you begin to circle around me slowly, trying to examine my new self. "Wow." You say causing me to gain a light blush as you stop in front of me again, standing up straight from your crouched state. Standing there with your face completely covered with amazement. "You are short." You say poking fun, causing both of us to start a burst out with laughter.

"You laugh the same." You say in between some stray giggles as you attempt to compose yourself after the long fit of laughs, by adjusting the hat on your head.

"Really?" I ask ever so shyly, after immediately stopping my laughter. I don't know why but after hearing you say that I felt an instant flush as I began to grab hold of the bottom of my new yellow shirt. I can't even manage to look at you straight in the eye, but rather at my own hands.

"Yeah, you sound exactly the same." You say with some extra sniggers. "Well, not exactly the same." You say as I see your hand raising up to most likely rub the back of your head. "But I can tell that it's you."

I can feel your glaze on me as I look away. Your eyes just piercing through me, but why can't I look up at you? Who would have guessed that I would completely become shy and quiet after meeting you like this, but I have to remember my purpose. I must remember. So, I lift my head slowly but surely, yet just barely. Just enough to be able to make eye contact with you. I know that I'm still blushing. I can just feel it, the light stinging sensation within my cheeks that is gradually starting to burn. I just hope that you don't notice or that you may figure that it's simply a trait passed down from my former self. "I'd recognize your laugh anywhere too, Ash." I ultimately say, smiling at you awkwardly.

You're making me nervous again as you rest there, saying nothing at all, but still looking right at me. You stand there looking at my face for what already seemed like hours, as if you were studying me. Studying if to see if you could find any remains of my other self.

I restrain a gasp that threatened to come out, when you finally cut through the silence with a half chuckle. "Well, that's good." You say giving me one of your biggest smiles I've ever seen.

Feeling rejuvenated, I stand up straight to return such a smile and give you a single quick nod of the head, while releasing a short sound of understanding. "Nfu."

-

"Yeah, well…" You say lifting your hand but stop it just before it reaches the back of your head. Once it came half way you shifted to look over your appendage and quickly lowered it back down.

It's hard to know how to react isn't it? But it's okay. I'm having the exact same problem. I've been wanting for this for so long. Who would have guessed that when it truly happened that I wouldn't even be able to look you straight in the eye without shying away after a few seconds?

"I guess we should go now, huh?" You finally were able to say.

Yes, I'll go with you anywhere. I've proven that before and now I'm much more willing considering the possible outcomes. But, I'm just to excited to reply to you correctly. I open my mouth to answer you, but nothing seems to be coming out. So, instead of continuing to attempt to now say something myself, I shut my mouth and nod to you rapidly.

"Okay. Come on." You say with a wave of the hand, signaling to start moving.

As you turn around and begins to walk, I stand momentarily to reflect on what just happened. Did I just come to you in human form and now were going to continue traveling together like I wished? It did, didn't it? All my wishes are becoming true. Now, now I just need to tell you. Tell you how I feel. How I've felt for you for so long. And when I do you'll look at me and smile and tell me…

"Come on, aren't you coming?" You yell out at me, pulling me out of my train of thought. I look over at you and there you stand giving me another wave telling me to come with you, and I happily oblige.

-

"To bad you can't ride on my back, huh?" You say turning over to look me as we walk side by side. "You have to really walk now." You say as if taunting me, playfully of course.

"That's okay. It doesn't bother me at all." I reply to you, but all I get is an unconvinced smirk. "It's true." I say with a small fit of laughter. "I'd walk with you anywhere." I say with my eyes shinning bright, especially when I see some pink climbing up your face when you turn to look ahead once more.

I can't believe that I'm so close to everything. I just need to go ahead and tell you now, now is the perfect time. We're just here walking in the woods, side by side, alone. There's no other person or thing that could get in the way now. And the woods are just so serene and beautiful. It's complete silent, except for the regular sounds of nature. And then there are the trees that curve above us, creating a natural canopy that lets in just enough of the pouring sunshine that lights our way. Everything right now is perfect for me to come out and confess to you my all undying love. I sound cheesy, but it just surprises me that I can just turn around and say…

"Ash?" I'm really doing this. I can feel you looking at me, but again I can't pull out enough courage to look at your face. "Ash, um, Ash…" I stutter to you, beginning to raise my head to catch a glance at the smile you're giving me. "Ash…where are the others?"

Oh, I'm trying so hard to restrain myself from slapping my forehead. Just as I thought that a little courage and confidence was sipping through my veins, it's all swept away. I can't believe I did that. I completely ruined my chance and for what? To ask a question I didn't really care about at the moment. Sure, I was wondering where the rest of the group was, but it doesn't really matter to me right now. I was alone with him, as a human, in the perfect serene environment and I blew it. You're talking to me, answering my question. I can see your lips moving, but I'm too covered with despair that I don't hear a word coming out of your mouth.

I can't just keep staring at you with a fake smile plastered on my face. You could be telling me something horrible while I'm smiling like an idiot. Maybe it was a good thing that I could talk like a human before. Okay, I have to stop doing this. I should be listening to what you're saying. Besides, it's not like my chances are lost forever. It's not like I won't be able to tell you how I feel another time. A little later today, after I cool down and don't feel like hurting myself. Great, and now you're asking me something.

"Hmm…" Comes out of my mouth, the only noise that I could manage.

"Did you hear me?' You ask looking rather concerned. "It just looked like you were spacing out a bit.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry. What were you saying?" I say attempting to look innocent and sweet.

"That's okay." You reassure me. "I was just saying that when I noticed that you were gone, I had to go find you of course. They were helping me look for a while, but since we were running out of supplies they gave what was left and then went on the search for the nearest town, while I stayed to look for you."

"And now we have to go meet them in town, right?" I ask trying to make sure that I had everything clear. Once you nod your head I can't help but feel ecstatic. Now, it's more perfect then ever. We really are alone. Just you and me. It'll take us a while to make it to town and knowing you it'll probably take us longer then it should. Extra time alone, while I'm like this, it's just…I can't believe it.

"Are you okay?" You ask me with that lovely laugh. You must have noticed me spacing off again. I'm just so happy and I have to let you know this. So, while quickly turning over to look at your eyes, I smile as big as ever.

"Just perfect, Ash."

* * *

Okay, I totally stole the "Nfu" from Mizuki from Prince of Tennis so I thought I should disclaimer that too, just in case. 


	7. breath

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated to Pokémon

* * *

This is wonderful. If I didn't have this much level of self control I would have started skipping a long time ago. We've just been here, talking to each other, side by side, saying so much, yet nothing at all. Discussing random facts you want to learn about me, like whether I can still talk to Pokémon or not, and quite truthfully that is an excellent question. I don't even know the answer myself. I think I can, but I haven't spoken to any of my former peers since the switch. I'll have to look in to that. But my favorite thing to talk about is our memories. I've always loved memories. They are what have kept me going until now.

The memories of the different places we have been, the different things we've seen, the different battles we've won and some we didn't. Like when we went to Cinnabar Island and you put me up against Blaine's Magmar and I almost got fried. Or the time when we were stuck in a snow cave on top of a mountain during a storm and I refused to go in my ball, because if you were going to freeze so was I. Or…or the time, I thought I almost lost you, when we were in that weird mansion with that created Pokémon, Mewtwo. I tried so hard to bring you back myself. I shouted out your name, I shook you, I shocked you, but nothing would happen. You just laid there, cold and stiff, still staring at me with those piercing eyes, frozen in time. That's the worse thing that has ever happened to me. Even worse then when I was captured, when I felt sad and lonely. Because nothing can compare to what I felt on that day, I had never felt so heartbroken, so desperate, so alone. I was ready to crawl over and join you for eternity.

We didn't get to discuss that topic so in depth, however. You must have noticed that at the first mention of that event, my once blissful smile became mourned and I refused to peer at anything else but the ground. So, you changed the subject, didn't you? Because you cared and didn't want to see me suffer through that pain again, right? And you changed the subject to my favorite, most treasured memory of all, the day we first met. We spoke about everything, from when you let me out of my ball to when you picked me up off the wet ground after my fight, and when I gently licked your face. And I'm not too certain, but I believe I saw a pink blush on your cheeks after I mentioned that small forgotten detail.

Yes, this has been a dream come true, but I can swear that I've seen that big rock before. I knew it, just like I had first expected. We really are going to be able to stay here together for a long time, which is no problem with me. I have to stop myself from giggling when I look over to you. You're doing that "I'm confused but trying not to look it" expression you do. I need to ask now. I know the answer to this question, but I need to ask to see that other face you do.

"Ash?"

"Yeah?" You say replying to me, causing me to smile at your innocent face.

"We're lost, aren't we?"

Oh, there's that face I was waiting for. It's just adorable when you make that expression. You're both shy and a tad bit in denial about it all, not wanting to admit that you have lost us once more. But, unlike other times, I don't mind at all, not one bit. To me, right now, nothing could be better.

"We are, right?"

"Maybe…" you say giggling nervously. "Well. We…we're not lost, it's just that. I don't exactly know where we are." You say very happily, rapidly nodding your head up and down, quite proud of your response.

"Isn't that the same thing?" I say smiling at your face of denial you put up again, and that you pull off so well.

"No…" You begin to say until the syllable evolves into a drawn out sigh. "Yeah. And I'm really hungry too." You say whining while rubbing your stomach, which just so happened to have read the moment and decided to reply.

A loud rumble that sounded almost painful escaped your empty belly that cried out for food. "heh…heh…wow, I'm sure glad that Brock gave me what was left." You say no longer being able to stomach the hunger pains, and with one quick motion you remove your backpack and not so gently place it heavily on the ground to begin your search for food.

You look so silly digging in the loaded bag for things to eat. It's just so you. Making your search so intense, simply pulling out anything and everything that is in the way of your quest. I can see your eyes bulging and your mouth beginning to water as you remove a loaf of bread from the pack. It doesn't seem to appear as soft and as moist as when we first purchased it, but to you, according to the face you are making, you don't care in the slightest. I'm enjoying watching you make a mess with your rummaging but, too soon you stop. You stop before you finish, before you pull out all of the necessary supplies, and look at me, very confused.

"What do you eat now?" You ask concerned as you remove a container containing my chow.

I can't help but smile at you, relieved. I was beginning to get worried about what could possibly make you stop your quest before it was completed. Now that I know it was because of your concern for me. Well, I just can't stop glittering inside. Your concern isn't the only thing that makes me smile, but also the question itself. It's a very good question. I do wonder if my pokéchow has the same great taste it once had. Not that I was opposed to traditional human food, of course. But, have my taste buds changed now that I'm human?

"I'm not sure." I say truthfully, seeing as I really have no idea. "Let me try." I say strolling over to you and your mess and pick up the case. As I lift the plastic lid the aroma of the medium sized pellets reach my nose. It surely smells the same.

As I pick up a pellet that seems particularly appetizing, I glance at you and at your amusing face of disgust. It must appear strange now. That a human is looking to taste food made for an animal, but I simply smile before stuffing the pellet into my mouth.

I play with the pellet, using my tongue to push it to all corners of my mouth, as if tasting wine or how I hear you taste it anyways. I've never done it of course. Meanwhile, you continue to look at me intrigued and I again smile, my mouth still chewing. When I think I have tasted enough, I swallow. I look down rather expressionless at you sitting on the grass, you looking up at me, waiting for a response. As I take a step closer and go down on my knees beside you, I can see you anticipating what I was about to say.

"It was good." I say laughing at your bewildered expression, placing another brown cylinder into my mouth.

"Really?" You ask amazed and a little grossed out as I pop in yet another one.

"Uh-huh." I say nodding my head up and down rapidly. "Tastes just the same to me. And it was really good then so it's good now." I say laughing again as the tip of your tongue slips out. "You should try it, Ash." I say handing you a bite that only causes the rest of your tongue to come out and your head to jerk to the side.

"No way." You say shaking your head.

"Aw, come on, Ash. It's really good. I like it." I say shoving the food closer to your face, causing you to close your eyes and cringe.

"That's because you were a Pokémon before so you got used to it. I was never one, so it'll never taste good to me." You say slightly opening one eye and taking a look at my tilted face.

"Have you ever tried it before?" I ask putting on the most innocent, sweet face I could conjure. I know this worked before, but I just hope it has the same effect now since, I'm not a cute little yellow mouse anymore. Luckily, it seems so.

Turning your head further around to fully face me, you give me a slanted smile while rubbing your jaw. "Well, no…"

"Then how do you know?" I say shifting the tilt of my head to the other direction and give you a cunning yet sweet smile and glance. "Now, Ash Ketchum, I thought you knew perfectly well that you can't know something unless you've tried it." I say while slowly kneeling my way closer to you. "Don't you always say something like that?" I say accompanying it with a grin.

"Uh…heh…" you attempt to say. I'm quite enjoying the big red hue crawling up onto your face as you try your hardest to come up with a reasonable reply. "Yeah, but-

"Then try it!" I say lunging towards you, the moment the words left my mouth, interrupting your thoughts. "Come on, Ash!" I'm going to make you try it, I just have to. I can't wait to see the look on your face when I manage to slip the brown pellet into your mouth. That's why I threw myself onto you. I just can't wait to see it.

This is truly entertaining; just play fighting with you. I would never have imagined this happening in a million years, but it's really happening. Everything is really happening. Sometimes it's just so hard to truly believe it. I'm having so much fun with you but, this isn't working. You're bigger then me, you're easily pushing my hands aside. I need to find a way for me to get close enough, or I'll never manage to force feed you the food.

But I think, I think I may have thought of way that is sure to work successfully.

As I again move towards you, my hand clinching the small pellet, propelling forward to the direction of your mouth you grab me once more. But this time it's different, you keep my wrist in your hand, not attempting to let go. But, this does still work to my advantage. As your attention is fully on my right hand you seem to have forgotten about the rest of me. Taking the opportunity presented by your distraction, I quickly move myself closer to you until I have the open chance to swing my leg to your other side, straddling you. This gives me a better chance to get close enough and it also limits your movement, just what I was hoping for.

My plan did indeed work, I am now constricting your movement but it's still much of a struggle. My arm is still within your grasp and it doesn't seem as you're planning to let go any time soon. There has to be a way to get you to loosen your grip.

As I keep fighting to get myself freed from your grasp I can't help but smile when I remember what I'm doing. Playing with you, as a human. I also can't help but smile now that I've finally figured out a way to get my wrist away from you. Using my free arm that you have carelessly forgotten, I will avenge my captured hand by tickling you as much as possible.

I'm not the one being tickled but I can't help but laugh along side you as you throw your head back and try to withstand the joyful pain. The longer I tickle the more your face changes colors and your grip finally begins to loosen. I quickly release my arm from your hold, but instead of having it push the pellet into your mouth I decided to let my hand receive it's just revenge.

Now, tickling you with double the might your loud laughter becomes nearly silent and your eyes water. Even your face begins to conjure up a variety of different shades, I didn't believe possible, and it was because of this that I finally decide to stop.

You're trying so hard to compose yourself but there are still tears falling freely from your redden face and your breath is still shot. You're breathing continues to be extremely heavy with deep, long gasps of air. The fact that I am still sitting on top of you most likely isn't helping. I'm probably contributing in your difficulty to collect air, and I believe that you have just realized this yourself.

With a slightly calmer demeanor you look up at me, your breath still trying to catch up. And as I look down at you all I can do is smile. I slowly lift my hand while our eyes are locked on to one another and bring it closer to your face. Once you feel the presence of my hand near you it is too late. With one last quick smirk and a swift motion, I press the brown pellet on to your mouth and with your weakened state I manage to slip it through.

The second the pellet landed in your mouth, your eyes bulge and you were instantly on your way to sitting up, just casually tossing me aside. As I lift myself up from my place on the ground, I can instantly see your plan to spit out the grain but, I am in no way going to let you do this after all my hard work to get it in there in the first place. So, quickly as possible I leap forward to your face once more and press both of my hands firmly over your mouth, forcing you to taste it.

I must be stronger then I first anticipated as I actually managed to knock you back to the ground. Now you have no other choice but to swallow the yummy morsel. And you know must this be true as you stop your obsessive squirming to stare up at me with those begging eyes. Those lovely, big, onyx colored eyes that are pleading to be let go. And though in other situations I would have easily caved into those ebony orbs, I decide to stand my ground today. With my slightly squinted eyes and a smirk of the lip you realize this and sigh, the air of your desperation flowing over my hand that holds your mouth captive, and then with a shut of the eyes you finally swallow.

Releasing a small giggle, I back up off of you, letting you regain your composure as you sit up as well. You attempt to place an angry glare towards me but I see that this plan is also not working as well as you first expected. Instead you sit there giving me a silly yet adorable pout.

"How was it?" I ask you, trying my hardest to hold in my fits of laughter, that's fighting it's way out.

"It.." you stutter to say as you look down at the grass cover ground, instantly yet randomly finding it intriguing. "It…wasn't bad…"you say oh so silently, hoping that my ears could not capture the vibrations of your voice. Unfortunately, for you, however, I heard ever quiet word and I let you promptly know this as the laughs that I was holding in, finally found their way out.

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" I say in-between my fits until you let me know that you have reached your breaking point of humiliation by throwing a pellet at me playfully. "I'm sorry, Ash." I say as bashfully as possible as your pout returns. "But, it wasn't that hard, right?"

"I guess not." You say finally with a smile, before standing up and returning to your ever so faithful quest that had been left forgotten.

-

This was just the most wonderful day I could have ever hoped for. Just the two of us, calm and alone. Enjoying our time together. Our travel now being the same yet so different from our travels of before. And now, that our stomachs are nice and full after real human food, and after you insisting that we share the remains because you not wanting to see me take another bite of the pokéchow, I watch you prepare your sleeping gear.

You lay your surprisingly neat sleeping bag down on the grassy ground and sit upon it once it is fully unrolled. I sit staring at you from a short distance probably appearing rather silly with my grin as you perform simple tasks as removing your overcoat and shoes. While you seem highly preoccupied with your nightly routine, I'm preoccupied with the thoughts of….where am I going to sleep now?

I have no place to sleep anymore. I used to be happy sleeping just about anywhere. On the ground itself, on a log, sharing space in the sleeping bag with you, that was my favorite. But wat am I going to do now? You gave me an extra blanket you, but this just doesn't seem to be enough. What if I get cold? What if the ground seems too hard? What if I'm just not comfortable at all?

I try lying down, covering myself up with the blanket, trying to calm myself down from the excitement of today. But, as I continue staring at you as you roll over to face me, your eyes closed, your breathing soothing down to a steady pace, I can't go to sleep. It's not warm enough. Sitting back up and tossing the blanket in frustration, I sigh.

What am I doing over here? I wanted things to be the same yet different, didn't I? Then…Then shouldn't I be…

I lift myself up from my spot across from you and gradually make my way over. As I stand before you I smile lightly, until my energy bursts at this rare hour and I quickly remove my shoes. Causing your eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets, I lift the flap to your sleeping bag and prop myself right next to you. Now this is how it should be, warm and comfortable, just how I remember except for one exception.

"Um, Pikachu...What are you doing?" You ask sounding obviously confused.

"Shh, Ash…I'm trying to sleep." I answer snuggling closer to you, slipping my head just under your chin.

I can feel your body continue to feel stiff, unsure about the certain situation, as I let the warmth take over me and I begin to drift off. But before I truly slip from this world, I sense your muscles relaxing and your breath begin the steady pace, once more.

* * *

A/N. I don't quite remember if Ash and company ever remember their first encounter with Mewtwo after meeting him again, but lets just pretend they do for the sake of the fanfic, yeah? Okay. Thanks, hehe. 


	8. everything

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated to Pokémon

* * *

Besides almost losing you for not believing who I was, all of yesterday was just a dream come true, us walking together, talking together, playing together, fighting together, and eating together

Besides almost losing you for not believing who I was, all of yesterday was just a dream come true, us walking together, talking together, playing together, fighting together, and eating together. And I inwardly giggle when I remember how I snuck up on you when you were nice and cozy in your sleeping bag at night, and I know it took you a while to feel fully comfortable with my new self but you surly did it rather quickly.

Right now is just as wonderful as we continue to circle around the forest in our attempts to find the nearest town, where the rest of our crew is waiting probably not too patiently. Though, it is wonderful walking here besides you, listening to you jabber on about old battles and new battles to come and about your goal about being the best, I have to admit that I am starting to tone you out.

It's not my fault really, it's just... It's just you talking about your goal has made me remember mine and how I have failed to complete it properly. As every little second counts, I am becoming more and more frustrated. There's something inside of me, something that I think is going to burst if I don't come out and confess soon. It's overwhelming, this feeling that I feel in the pits of my stomach. The feeling that's churning the acids or guts or whatever there is inside there. It just makes me feel horrible and pained yet strangely excited.

"Ash…" I say nearly silent, but I know you heard me as I see you stopping your step. You were probably planning to stop anyways, as you must have notice when I began to lose my step. "Ash, I need to tell you something." I say loosing your stare as I revert back to my skittish demeanor, facing the floor as I did before.

"What is it?" You ask obviously concerned, I can hear it in your out of character, gentle voice. After not managing to say anything I can hear your steps as you begin to find your way to me. I can let that happen though. If you get any closer I may lose this very little courage I have in me. I may blurt out some nonsensical jabber that I could care less about. I have to do it now, before I lose my nervous once more, before I may never have the strength to get this far again.

"Ash." I say abruptly, while lifting my head. Luckily, my sudden motion surprised you enough to stop you in your tracks. As long as we keep this distance, I may have the chance. "Ash…I…" I stutter out several times until it seems that your patience is shot as you start walking forward once more. The cracks of the leaves you're stepping on, on your way over to me wake me up and again I shout out unexpectedly. "I love you."

"What?" You ask mid-step, my out of the blue words, catching you off guard again.

"I love you." I say again, much more easily this time around. This time I didn't stutter or shout and look away. I said it, just as I had always wanted, straightforward while looking right at you, smiling. Smiling, because I was finally able to tell you something that had been in me, eating at me for years.

"Oh." You say smiling back. Smiling back! I can believe it, you smiled back. Just like I had hoped, just how I wished, just how I dreamed. "Well, I love you too." You say so simply. I can't believe it took me so much trouble to say this to you, when you say it in return with no trouble at all.

"Really?" I ask walking slightly closer, nearly desperate; needing the reassurance after all I had been through to just get here.

"Yeah." You say happy and chipper, this of course makes me so incredibly excited, both inside and out. So, excited that I really can't help but go over to you and fulfill another one of my dreams.

"Really, Ash?" I say walking closer to you, my hands balling up towards my chest as I reach you. "I'm so happy." And with that, my hands that were kept safely near me find their way to your shoulders, and lips that held a content smile, find their way to yours.

Now, I truly can't believe that this could ever happen, that this is happening. Right now, right at this moment. My hands and lips, touching you, ever so softly. You're not reacting, you're not kissing me back, but that's to be expected. I've been prone to surprising you recently. But, ahh, how marvelous this is. How I've desired this. To be this near you, your warm slightly moist lips on mine. I could just melt right here, I already feel warm and gooey. And it's getting so hard to hear, the sound of my heart beating so fast is deafening and overwhelming. And now that I feel you moving your arms, I could die.

You raise your arms and place your hands over my own hands that still reside on your shoulders. I'm so happy that you're finally reacting to my kiss, and so sweetly too, until…you decide to surprise me.

Your hands that gently cover mine tighten around them, and before I get a chance to beam about your loving gesture, your gently hands become forceful as you push both me and my hands off of you.

"What are you doing?" You ask, nearly in shouts as you touch your lips with the tips of you fingers.

Despite your harshness, I smile softly and attempt to approach you again, until you lift a hand, signaling me to stop.

"What were you doing?" You ask, obviously confused, with your crinkled brows.

"Ash." I say, as I watch you bring your arm back down.

What do I do? You're looking at me, expecting an answer. Should I explain or try to show you again? You've put your arm down and now that you've experienced it, you won't be as surprised, right? I just confused and shocked you again. I've been doing it all day yesterday and now too. That must be it. You just needed it to register fully in your mind.

With my desperate thought I again begin to take steps towards you, and my assumptions must be right seeing as your arm has not been raised.

"Ash, I was just- instead of letting myself finish and explain, I instead decided in one quick implosive move that I should show you.

Again, my hands land on your shoulders and my lips on yours. They were just as soft and sweet as before. It was like a replay, just not one that I could intentionally enjoy. For I, was correct on one aspect of my assumptions. You certainly had my actions registered into your mind. And because of this, I did not have time to take pleasure in my desire, for this replay was much harsher, if possible.

"Pikachu! What are you doing?" You ask, now truly in shouts after tossing me aside, my fortuitous sense of balance being the only thing to catch me before I fell to the hard ground.

"Ash, I…"I managed to say, as I stayed in my semi-hunched form while my eyes lingered over you. Hoping for some kind of sign in you, a sign saying that everything was fine. But, that's not what I find. Your eyes are drowned in confusion as you stand before me, critically looking down at me, waiting for me to explain. "Ash, I just kissed you," I finally say, standing up straight with an attempted smile

"Why?" You ask your voice much calmer then before.

Why? Why? How? How could you ask? How could you honestly ask me that? I thought, I thought I made it obvious. It thought I made it all obvious. And you agreed. You agreed. I know you did. I heard. I thought I heard. No. I did. I know I did. After years of wishing, I would know if you said it. I would know. I would know. It's something that I would plant into my mind forever.

"You said you loved me…" I say as pitifully as I've ever sounded. "You did. Didn't you?" as pitiful as I could ever imagine sounding. Luckily, however, this seems to trigger something in you that leaves me with hope, as your eyes become soft once more, and your shoulders droop down to a more casual position, and if I look closely there could also be a faint smile.

"Yeah, I did." You say to me, your tender smile becoming more apparent. Mine, joining you as well, and my eyes I can feel also begin to brighten once more. "But not like that." And with that simple statement…my world stopped.

_I know you worry about me, I know you care for me, and I know that you maybe even love me, but...but not like that. _

Stopped. It was as if all the clocks in the world stopped ticking. As if the earth stopped spinning. As if the sun stopped setting. It just stopped. Just completely stopped.

_But not like that._

That statement. That simple stupid statement that I even said myself is running over and over in my head, eating away at my mind "_But not like that"_ I can hear you saying it, again and again. "_But not like that" _How justifying of you to use the exact same words. "_But not like that" _I don't even know how long I've been standing here, repeating the words. I know your still there. Standing in front of me, but it's like I don't see you. Like, I can't. I can hear you though, and not just the words that are being driven into my mind. But, I can hear the faint sounds of you shifting your position.

"Pikac-

"Why?" I shout out with a couple of tears finding their way out, knowing perfectly well that I had interrupted you.

"What?" You ask dumbfounded causing me to become more irritable and frustrated.

"Why?" I ask, with more water coming out. "Why not like that? Why?" I ask, making me wonder that if I had found my recent act of desperation pitiful, then what would this possibly be considered.

"Pikachu, you're a Pokemon." You say looking at me sadly. "And I'm a person. That's just…that's just not right."

No. You can't use that. It's not true anymore. It's not. You're looking right at me. You know it's not. "But, I'm not." I say, taking a look at myself to make sure that it is still true. "Ash, I'm not anymore. I'm human now. I'm human." I shout, pounding on my now human chest.

"Yeah, but…" You stutter while I wait as patiently as possible for you to continue, which is not an easy task for my heart is leaping out of me. "But, you're not even supposed to be. You're supposed to be a Pokemon not human." You pause, waiting for me to reply, but I stay silent with the exception of the sniffles that make subconsciously. "Besides, Pikachu. Even if you were really human, we're both-

"Boys…" I say interrupting you, my gaze leaving you for the first time in a while.

"Yeah, I mean. All three things, they're just-

"Forbidden…" I say completing your statement once more. No longer caring that my heart was pounding uncontrollably, no longer caring about the tears that wouldn't stop soaking my cheeks. No longer caring that my hands, no, my whole body was shaking. "Forbidden…" I repeat softly, mainly to myself. "Everything about me is forbidden, isn't it?" I ask rhetorically, still looking down at the ground.

"Pikachu…"

"Nothing I do will ever be right, will it?" I ask looking up at you, my eyes red and pouring. "Nothing will be good enough." I say finding my voice. "After everything, it's still wrong." I say louder, now truly grabbing your attention.

"Pikachu…" You say softly, taking a small step closer to me.

"After all I've done for you." I say, watching you take another step. "It's still not good enough."

"Pikachu…" You say gently reaching out to me.

"Don't touch me!" I shout out, forcefully pulling away from you. How dare you just say that you could never be with me because everything about me is wrong and forbidden and then try to come up to me and make me think that everything is okay? Because I'm supposed to do what you tell me to, right? I'm yours. I'm your property. I'm your servant.

"After everything I've done for you!" I yell at your face.

"Pikachu, I'm sorry." Sorry…sorry…that word holds nothing for me.

"Ash, I do everything for you!" I continue to yell, blinking countless, the tears that are gathering up in my eyes making it difficult to see. "Ash, I listen to you, I fight for you, I did this…" I look down at my new body. "For you. I turned human for you." I look down once more, balling up my fist and closing my eyes shut tight. "I live for you."

"Pikach-

"Ash, I'd die for you!" I shout out, lifting my head up as fast as possible and stare at your face. My attention being caught by a moist spot on your cheek, that's making me wonder if you could also be crying in such a moment. But as I scan upward to your eyes and see them worried, yet water free, I realize that that moist spot was my own tear that flew onto you when my head was raised. Being disappointed yet again, I can no longer stand looking at you, and my head again drops. "But, it doesn't matter." I say silently. "Everything about me…it just…it just doesn't matter." And with that I run.

I run. And don't stop. I can't. I can hear you. You're yelling out my name, telling me to come back. But can't. And I won't. Not now. Not after everything I had ever dreamed and hoped for was scattered in mere minutes.

* * *

I can't feel my legs anymore. They've surpassed even the pain of my throbbing muscles reaching into nothingness. The poundings I bring upon them to bring them back to life go unanswered, except they shake. But, they were already shaking. Shaking, so uncontrollably that once I stopped the pounds, my legs brought shivers through out my entire body before they gave up, no longer being able to support my weight.

So, as I use my hands to scoot myself over to a rock to use as my support, I attempt to calm down my breathing. But as the seconds go by, the excruciating pain of my lungs burning cause me to gasp deeper and deeper. The pain would have probably brought tears to eyes any other night, but tonight…I think I'm drained. There can't possibly be any more water within me.

I wrap my arms around myself as my breathing begins to die down and I bring my knees up to my chest after the feeling came painfully back. I try my hardest to keep my mind blank. The physical pain I'm feeling is enough for me to handle right now. I don't need to be bombarded with emotional grief as well.

"_But not like that"_

But as I fail at everything that truly matters, I fail to keep my mind clear for long. The words you carelessly uttered to me rush back, causing me to remember everything I was trying so hard to forget. Making the longest run of my life and the pain my lungs and legs feel almost meaningless. But at least it got me away from you. You and your hair, smile, back, touch, eyes, laugh, breath, everything. Everything that used to make me feel glad and made my heart pound. Everything that now, like the water did before, makes me feel distressed and sad.

"_But not like that"_

My hands ball up into fists as I shut my eyes tight, cringing. I make myself believe that the tighter I keep my eyes, the more this day will be forgotten. My tightening of both my hands and eyes seem to fail as well. Only now the pain of my nails digging into palm is added into the mix.

After moments of keeping everything in, my eyes burst open, remaining and forgotten tears running, and I release the heaviest gasp my body was able to create. I never realized that I had stopped breathing. I clinch and grind my teeth as I shake my head violently, physically arguing with my eyes to stay dry. I don't want to cry again. I didn't even think I could. How much can a person…can a person cry?

As I sit staring straight ahead, breathing through my opened mouth and begin to wet my shirt with my crying eyes, some rustling to my side breaks my attention. I gasp loudly once more, this time from the surprise I felt from the noise that disrupted my quiet despair.

Looking to the source of the sound, I find myself staring into eyes that aren't too different from my own, just a tad bit different from when I look at myself, my former self. And they look back at me, as if it knew. "Pichu." he says, tilting he's head slightly to the side. And for the first time in what seemed so long I smile, I smile through my glassy wet eyes.

"Hi." I say in a near whisper but I know the small pichu heard me as he smiles and begins to wave both arms in the air joyfully.

"Pichu pichu pi pi pichu." He says as it continues to wave.

"What?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows. He smiles once more before continuing to speak. He just keeps jabbering on and on freely. While I initially enjoy his blabbing for its fun and cute, I soon begin to realize something highly important to me. "I don't understand you." I say mostly to myself, though I know he heard me clearly, for he soon stopped speaking.

"Pichu?" He says softly when I take my eyes off him, as I turn back to the dark forest I was looking though before.

"I don't understand you." I say louder this time, still facing forward, towards the shadows. "I don't understand you!" I yell as the tears that had momentarily dried begin flowing once more. "I don't understand you." I say in a normal tone facing back to my former brethren, to find him gone. My yelling must have scared him off. And now. Now he's gone, now he's lost.

"I lost everything." I whisper to myself as I sweep my fingers through my hair before taking hold of my head. "I lost everything." I say, resting my head in my hands that are resting on my lifted legs.

"Come back..." I plead quietly, my head still in-between my hands and legs. "Come back." I say louder. "Come back!" I scream as loudly as my now coarse voice can manage as I finally snap my head up towards the heavens and begin to pick myself up.

"Please! Come back!" I yell, trying my hardest not to fall back on the ground as my legs wiggle below me. "Please! If you can hear me, please come back!" I continue to yell even though I feel this is all in vain. "I need your help!"

"I need your help again….please…" I say, stopping my yells and returning to my normal voice.

She's not coming back. She's not coming back. I don't know where she went; I don't even know where she came from. What's the chance of her coming to me again, if there was such a little change of her coming to me at all? I've lost my chance at everything, I've lost everything, and I don't think I'll ever get it back. If only she could hear me, where ever she may be. "Please..." I plead quietly once more, my water filled eyes turning down toward my shaking knees.

"Pikachu…"

What? It can't be. I know I heard it. Someone calling out to me, just right behind me. I know I heard my name clearly. Can it really be her? Can it really?

As my breath becomes faster the normal, I slowly gained enough courage and strength to turn myself around. With my blurry vision I was still able to make her out completely. There she was just as before, standing there with her flowing white skirt and orange hair that never managed to stop moving. Just like before she used her hand to grab some of the flowing hair and pushed it gently behind her ear, making her soft face much more visible. Now being able to see her face more clearly, it begins to bring me another wave of turmoil. Instead of the happy, joyful expression her face held the fist time I met her, she holds one of sadness.

"Pikachu…"

"Please…" I say, slowly managing to make my way over to her. "Please, change me back." I beg, my fingers interlocking as I bring them up to my chest. "Please."

"I can't." She answered simply and softly, bring her gaze slightly down as she shook her head.

"Please, you have to change me back, please." I say, directly in front of her, forcing her to look me in the eyes.

"Pikachu, I can't" She answered, her voice quivering as her head shook. "I just can't" She said with a tear rolling down her sad face.

"No." I say loudly, refusing to believe any of it. "You have to." I say grabbing hold her arms, shaking her lightly, "You have to." I continue pleading and shaking as she continues to say no with her head, "You have to change me back, please!" I manage to say in rolling sobs, causing my throat to now throb as well.

"I can't, the change was supposed to be permanent, Pikachu, I can't" She says, now truly crying along side me.

"But, there has to be a way, isn't there? Isn't there always a way?" I beg, letting go of her arms and throw my arms around her instead, in a tight embrace. She stands perfectly still as I latch onto her, not knowing what to do. She just stands there, her arms slightly raised, not moving, not saying a word, just sounds of her sniffles are heard. "Isn't there?!" I say shaking her as I continue to hold her.

"It's not supposed to be allowed." She finally answers, so rapidly that I wasn't even sure I had hear it correctly.

"Nothing about me is supposed to be allowed!" I yell out my best argument, as I slide down to my knees, my body being too exhausted to hold me up for much longer, but my arms never letting go of her waist. "Please…" I say quietly, giving my last plea as she continued shaking her head and placed her sobbing eyes into the palm of her hands.

* * *

"Geez, Ash. If we didn't come back to find you, you would have been lost in here forever." She said helping pack things. "Are you ready to go?" She asked you as you continue to stand unmoving, just staring start into nothingness.

"Ash?" Said the taller boy, finally waking you up from your sleep.

"Huh?" you ask, turning to him, making it obvious that you were not paying attention to a word they were saying.

"Ash." The other boy repeated looking quite troubled. "Did you ever find him?" He asked looking sadden, the girls expression matching as well.

You switch your glaze from the group, back to the vast forest and after a few seconds that felt like a few years, you turn back and nod sadly. "No." You say, taking hold of your backpack and flinging the straps over your shoulder. "Let's go." You say, beginning to walk ahead. The other two following reluctantly after sharing concerned expressions.

"Pika Pi!"

You stop in your tracks and stand there, not knowing if you truly heard something or your mind was playing tricks on you. As you continue to stand there, unmoving, the other two turn around before you and smile happily. And of course wanting you to witness the joyous occasion, the older boy then places a heavy hand on your shoulder, snapping you out or your trance.

You turn ever so slowly. I never knew you could turn so slowly. You were always one of rash movements. But when you finally turn completely, our eyes instantly lock. They lock so quickly, so rapidly, as gravity some how found a way form them to pull them to each other. And so you take a step towards me and then another and then another, our eyes never once let go of each other.

You stand in front of me now, not knowing what to say. You just look at me; stare at me, study me. "Pikachu…" You ask in a mere whisper, as I answer in with my infamous nod and a sad smile.

You smile back at me, a small one at first that gradually becomes a true beam. "Come on." You say to me still in a quiet voice as you turn around and start walking slowly towards the group. You walk so slowly, as if afraid that I will disappear. It wasn't until you felt weight on your shoulder that you began to walk at your normal pace.

"Together forever, right?" You ask me, your eyes shinning with hope.

"Pika." I say with a nod, that some replying being enough for you as you nod back then turn back to the group.

Together forever. I promised that a long time ago too, didn't I? And that's why I can't leave. That's why I can never leave. Never, no matter how much it hurts to be near you, to hear you, to see you, to feel you, to love you. I promised to be here. After everything, I'm still yours.

I don't really know when my hate for you became something else, all I know is that it was sometime after that faithful first day. But, can you ever really feel it back? No, I don't think so. Not like that. Oh, the pain of forbidden love.

* * *

-Well, that's it, I finally finished it. The funny thing is I started to write this chapter during valentine's day, so I was like "Wow, I'm crushing this innocent little boy's heart on valentine's day" The rest I didn't have a chance to finish until Spring break.

-I wonder if anyone else just wanted to punch Ash at the face after this for making Pikachu cry, because no one makes Pikachu cry without a few punches to the nose, but that's just what I say.

-And lastly, I want to thank all the people who read this, I know people read it, just none of you left reviews, tsk tsk. Now, even though that would have been highly appreciated, I'm just happy you read and maybe even enjoyed Pikachu's journey to heartbrokenness.


End file.
